Many of us at least have a general idea of where we want to be in life. And when you struggle to reach that point, it can weigh heavily on you. But with a bit of introspection, it’s possible to pinpoint exactly what is holding you back, which all too often, turns out to be a case of subconscious (or conscious!) self-sabotage.
Ditch the regrets now and address these eight self-defeating behaviors keeping you from living your best life.
1. You don’t have written goals.
Before you can chase down your dreams, you must know what they are. Clearly identifying these can be half the battle. What do you envision for your life? Your business? Your family time and social engagement? The act of simply recognizing and writing down your goals serves both as a reminder of what you’re working toward and inspiration to keep you moving.
2. You don’t have a game plan either.
Although you now have a list of written goals, there’s more planning to be done. How are you going to get from Point A to Point Z? Just like a skilled coach and manager, you need a game plan. Breaking down your goals into small, achievable steps can help you navigate this journey and prepare you for the countless stops in-between. Take care not to get too caught up in the details as perfectionistic paralysis is all too real a thing.
3. You aren’t persistent.
Persistence is a learned behavior, cultivated and refined by all those times you struggle, yet still long for something. Think about a toddler first learning to walk. They stumble, they fall, they plow head-first into the couch cushions as they narrowly miss the edge of the coffee table…for the fiftieth time! And even though they may get frustrated, shed tears, and tear up their knees, they persist. When you truly want something, there are no roadblocks powerful enough to stop you.
4. You lack the necessary skillset.
Sometimes our current skillsets don’t match up to the skills needed to attain our goals. Ultimately, this shouldn’t be a deal-breaker, so long as you recognize the problematic gap and find a way to close it. Consider taking a college course, going to an industry conference, or seeking out a mentor. There’s more than one way to accumulate the skills you desire.
5. You don’t have confidence.
Believing in yourself is an incredibly powerful motivator and predictor of success. Even if the entire world is cheering you on, you won’t ever reach and maintain your goals until you harness the power of self-confidence. If you’ve stumbled a lot, it’s expected that your confidence may be shaken. Now is the time to bolster your resolve — challenge the negative thoughts circling in your head, lean into your game plan, and focus on your strengths.
6. You’re afraid of failure.
We can all agree — failure is scary. But the secret to banishing fear from your life for good lies in this universal truth: Everyone fails. Those who regroup, learn from the experience, and try yet again are much more likely to reach their destination that those who repeatedly throw in the towel. Every day is a new day thankfully, so forget yesterday and keep plugging away. You’ll be surprised just how far you will go when you stay forward-focused.
7. You opt for the easy path every time.
With a lot of planning and a little luck, you’ll likely be rewarded with an easy win every now and again. But by and large, you’ll be faced with far, far more challenges than you ever imagined. If you become disillusioned and opt for the easy path every time the going gets tough, you’re going to miss out on some amazing opportunities and relationships. You’re only cheating yourself when you take the easy route time and time again.
8. You’re reluctant to put yourself out there.
The novel that stays hidden in a drawer has zero chance of ever ranking on the New York Times bestseller list. And if you stay hidden behind closed doors and don’t engage with the world around you, it’ll be virtually impossible to gain any momentum. Be willing to be vulnerable and put yourself out there — say hello to every person you pass by, start that blog, or apply for the position you’ve been eyeing. Like attracts like. Your efforts will slowly begin to pay off and you’ll learn to become more comfortable in your own skin too.
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What other behaviors keep us from getting where we want to be? Please join the conversation below.
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Legal Disclaimer: The information I publish is not legal advice but rather is intended to prompt a discussion on best practices in human resources. Further, federal and state laws are amended frequently and vary significantly from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. Therefore, the published information may not be current at the time that you read it or it may not be applicable to your jurisdiction. As such, you should not rely upon any of the published information without first consulting directly with Restaurant HR, legal counsel, and reviewing your local, state, and federal laws as well as any applicable industry practices and company policies.
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